DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Even though it happened over eight years ago, I still blame myself in part for my cousin’s death. The local police ruled it accidental, but I know he had been really down over a breakup and missing home. It was a week before the death, and I knew my cousin was hurting and acting kind of off. THINK i COULD HAVE SAVED HIMDEAR THINK I COULD HAVE SAVED HIM: When someone dies under circumstances like your cousin did, it’s bound to haunt the survivors. I’ve seen the lasting effects on those who’ve had to deal with similar deaths, and such pain can lead to deep, lifelong scarring.