DEAR ABBY: Because my fiance and I had bad experiences in the past, we settled on just living together for the last 17 years. I checked his phone one day out of the blue -- something I have never done before because we respect each other's privacy. Does he still deserve the same privacy? After 17 years together, both of you have a large emotional investment in this relationship. Because of that, it might be beneficial to schedule some sessions with a licensed relationship counselor to figure out where it went off the rails.